1. |
Capital I (Demo)
02:31
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Locked in my self doubt
I will never escape
As the waters of my depression
Start rising to my waist.
It feels like merely living has been
my selfless accomplishment.
And I’m so sick and tired
Of trial and error.
The conditions are bleak
All morale is challenged
In this town where I know my fate
Is in sync with all my past regrets.
But the first world
Comes at a price
And too many times I forget
Who I am and how to stand.
Life isn’t life when happiness
comes on a piece of paper
when beauty fades
when want is need
and when God is you and me.
But in my head
I am truly dead.
I, I need, I needed this, I needed everything to go my way
Because I’ve forgotten the difference between right and privilege
I use to always romanticize
The idea of my own suicide
Just wishing that I could live
with my heart in my hands.
Thinking no one cares
Is truly unfair
And I sit here
Harboring my make believe
While this cruel world
Takes another life
From a boy who would kill for mine.
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2. |
The Past (Demo)
04:49
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|
Just wondering why oh why I ever acted on my feelings
Just wishing I oh I could leave the place I’m living for the place
that I am wanted
Keeping seated in the pews of this church
Bowing my head to reflect and regret
It’s a wonder how her eyes met mine
But now she’s gone and I swear to God that I won’t compromise
But pushing forward isn’t easy
I can’t compete with everyone fighting
With so much history at stake
I’m just looking for a place to plant my name
Your head is filled with fear and loathing
For the one who always stops your breathing
And I can’t catch up
To open up your lungs
And open up your eyes
Still wishing I could hide with her forever
Blinded eyes stay mesmerized with every lie
They keep inside to never realize they never lived their life
Outside
But pushing forward isn’t easy
I can’t compete with everyone fighting
With so much history at stake
I’m just looking for a place to plant my name
Your head is filled with fear and loathing
For the one who always stops your breathing
Are you even alive?
So who am I stop you
I’m scared of you
And I hardly even know you
But you hate me
I’m dirt
I’m waste
I’m filth
Well, I’m sorry for the dirt
I’ve kicked in your eye but
You’re never letting go
Moving on
Thinking straight
Being wise
Because those eyes keep you mesmerized
We’re never letting go…
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